Her Life Had Always Been Black
by alyssialui
Summary: In drawing the picture of her life, Bellatrix seems to have lost most of her colours. All that's left is black. One-shot of how Bellatrix became so broken. AU I guess.


_A/N: A one-shot of what could have possibly caused Bellatrix to be so dark. Enjoy. Reviews appreciated._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_A small girl is propped up on her knees on the deep brown floor of her home. Strands of her wild black hair come loose from the ribbon meant to keep them together and touch the white paper beneath her hands. What will she draw today? _

_Her eyes light up when she finally got an idea and she reaches for her crayon box. Four year old Bellatrix colours, using red, yellow, orange, blue, green, purple, never the black crayon. There is no place in her drawing for a black crayon._

* * *

Bella ran through the large halls of her house even though her mother always told her not to, but she was very excited today. In her hand she clutched a drawing she had made, ready to show it to her mother with a smile. It was her best work yet if she did say so herself.

"Mummy!" she called as she ran. She couldn't find her but she knew she was still home.

A house-elf appeared in front of her, "Ms Bella, Mrs Black told you to stay outside." He tried to grab her by her shoulders but she shrugged her off.

Putting on the best grown-up face a four year old could do, she said to the elf, "Pokey, I need to see my mummy now!" She tried to look at him angrily but she was only an inch taller than him. He eyed her nervously, unsure whether to listen to his little miss or to Mrs Black. Bella didn't give time to think as she ran off again, calling loudly through the home, "Mummy! Mummy!"

She heard movement as she ran past one of the closed doors on the first floor. _**Daddy's office!**_

She pulled on the door knob and peaked her head inside. She saw her father towering over her mother, his hand raised high over the pair. His expression was cold, his eyes piercing into his wife's. His hair was slightly dishevelled. Her mother's was full of fear. She could not meet his eyes. Blood flowed freely from a cut above her eyebrow, pooling under her eye. The adults didn't notice her there in the doorway.

"Mummy?" Bella asked looking up through her dark curls. Her picture of the garden fell through her hands and face up on the floor at her feet. The bright blue sky she worked so hard on took up most of the page contrasting with the dark wooden floor of the study. Their heads both turned swiftly towards her.

Bella dropped her blue crayon.

* * *

There was a boy she would talk to through the hedges. Every time she ran outside, she called out his name and he would poke his head through the bushes. "Harold!" she giggled as she came up close.

They would talk about every and anything. He didn't know anything about magic. Bella loved knowing more than others and got a thrill from telling him about all the things that happened around her home. His eyes would always widen in disbelief when she told him about the green flames in the fireplace and the rattling cabinets of ghouls. But then he would tell her things of his home. She didn't like when others knew things she didn't but for some reason she didn't mind as much when it was Harold. He would show her his newest toy and they would share pictures they drew. He liked to draw as much as she did.

So one day, Bella ran outside with her latest drawing to show Harold. She had worked on it all night, trying to get it just right. She had something very important to tell him too.

She pushed open her back door and called out, "Harold?" He didn't respond. So she ran up to the hedge and peeked her head through. She saw Harold there but there was another girl there. She had short blonde hair and scabby knees. They were running back and front around Harold's yard.

Laughter filled the backyard while Harold chased her. "Harold?" Bella asked again. Harold looked towards the hedge when he heard his name. "Bella." He ran up with the girl beside him. "Hi Bella, this is my girlfriend!" he said grinning.

Four year old Bella had heard that word said among her older cousins. It had something to do with love. Bella was hurt but she stared at them with a blank expression. With her grown-up face on again, she said, "Oh that's nice. I have to be going now."

Pulling her head back through the bush, she looked down at the drawing. A big red heart was on it, with her name and Harold's below it. Crumpling it up, she threw it to the ground, stomped it even flatter and then ran back inside.

Bella broke her red crayon.

* * *

Eigth year old Bella watches after her two sisters, Dromeda and Cissy, from her place on the back porch. She sat on a white chair with a notebook propped up on her leg, drawing the sun as it stopped just above the horizon, refusing to go down. She shielded her eyes as she coloured in the picture.

Her sisters ran in circles around the house, frightening the geese down by the pond and trampling the rose bushes. **_Mum will have a fit!_**

Cissy laughed as she snuck up behind Dromeda and taps her on her shoulder. Dromeda spun around to grab Cissy but she is too fast and they run towards the front of the home.

Bella was told to stay with her sisters while her mother went out for the day. "Do not disappoint me," her mother said. So Bella would not disappoint.

Shrieking, Cissy ran back into the backyard, "Bella save me from Dromeda".

Bella rolled her eyes as she watched Dromeda's brown hair bob after the little girl. Dromeda now carried a watering can, ready to splash Cissy. "You really need a bath Cissy. You smell like a muggle."

Cissy scrunched her face and said, "I do not!". She stamped her little foot on the ground.

This allowed Dromeda to get close enough to Cissy to dump the water over her head. "Well, now I'm sure you don't", Dromeda giggled.

Cissy's blonde hair was stuck to her face now, the blue bows in her hair slipping down. She cried out, "Dromeda!" and ran at her sister to take the watering can from her.

Overcome by the giggles, Dromeda didn't notice that the watering can was taken from her until Cissy's face broke out in a grin. "No!" Dromeda said, running back towards the front of the house.

Bella watched them disappear again. _**Children!**_

She got up from the porch to go get her little sister before she got a cold. **_God forbid darling baby Cissa getting sick._** Slipping her crayon into the pocket on the front of her dress, she stepped lightly down the porch stairs and towards the front of the house.

The front yard of the Black was very big, but not at large as the back. There was another pond on this side but all the geese in this one had fled after hearing the loud children playing. Bella saw Cissy had backed Dromeda into a small corner ready to splash the water on her.

Bella shouted, "Cissy stop!" Cissy's head flew around towards her voice allowing Dromeda to quickly snatch the can from her hands and dashed off. Bella walked up Cissy and held her against herself, "You're going to get sick. We need to get you inside now."

Bella took Cissy by the shoulder and was about to lead her through the front door when the two of them got soaked. Dromeda had refilled the watering can and drenched her two sisters.

The grounds of the Noble House of Black fell silent. Dromeda stared at her older sister with wide eyes and Cissy's jaw had dropped. They had upset Bella, and she was already known for her temper.

Bella screamed up into the sky and then turned her eyes on Dromeda, who was frozen in fear. Bella then grabbed the can from Dromeda and dumped the rest of the water on her head. "There now all of us are wet!"

Bella started to laugh, a real laugh. The whole situation was funny. Cissy and Dromeda relaxed and then Cissy started laughing at her two older sisters. "Bella you got Dromeda!" Dromeda's clothes clung to her skin. Dromeda rushed over to Cissy and picked her up, "But now I've got you".

The Black girls stayed in the front yard, running and chasing after each other. Bella had never felt this free in a long time.

But then the front door opened and their mother stood in the doorway. "Bellatrix Druella Black! What did I tell you?" The woman looked at the scene with disgust. "I expected better from you. This is not how proper pureblood witches behave. All of you come inside and change out of your wet robes. Bella, you will come with me. I see we need to go over your lessons again."

The fun had ended. three girls filed into the house with their heads held down, hiding their faces.

Bella hid her yellow crayon.

* * *

Fifteen year old Bella is now walking the halls of the Hogwarts castle. Having just come from the Great Hall after dinner, she walks towards the Slytherin common room. Four years ago, she had been put into Slytherin like all of her family. She had followed all that was expected of her to a T. She was the perfect daughter.

Her sisters had also been sorted into Slytherin as well and they never seemed happier. She was glad for them but expressing it was not proper behaviour. So she gave one nod to each after they had been sorted and turned away.

Walking past a classroom door she heard low voices. She pressed her ear up to the door, listening closely.

_"... it's the same pureblood teachings but someone's actually doing something about it. Muggles and Mudbloods below the Purebloods."_

_"It makes me sick to see them sometimes."_

_"He looking for followers, anyone who wants to right the world. It's the perfect pureblood world."_

There was some shifting of papers. Bella waited for the voices to continue but then two students came around the corner of the hall. She straightened up and recognized the students as her sister.

"Hello Bella, what are you doing her?" Dromeda asked.

"Oh nothing. Why are you not in the dorms?" Bella looked back at the two accusingly. Her eyes pierced them, daring them to question her further.

Cissy spoke up, "We were looking for you but you were not there."

Her gaze softened as she looked at Cissy, but her tone was still harsh. "You've found me. Let's go."

They walked away from the classroom and Bella made a note to find out more about what the voices were saying.

**xxXxx**

A few nights later, Bella was alone in the halls again, sitting against a wall on the floor and drawing the fire she saw in the torch across from her that gave the hallway a nice warm orange glow. She was just about finished when a group of boys no older than herself walked pass her. _**Probably seventh years.**_

Parts of their conversation flitted by her ear:

_"Meeting tonight... he might even make an appearance... horrible muggles..."_

Getting off the ground, she left her things and walked towards the boys with her head held high. "What is this about a meeting?"

The first boy turned to her, "Only the greatest revolutionary ever. He enlisting recruits tonight to join his cause."

"Don't bother telling her Lestrange, she just a girl. Not much she can offer." The one of the other boys said to his friend, while looking down at Bella. He sized her up, his eyes taking in her figure and the back to her face. She was quite striking.

Bella turned her tongue on him, "Well this girl is just as learned in the pureblood beliefs as anyone."

The first boy caught her attention again, "Then you know about the need to make purebloods perfect and a world to match."

She gave the boy a sickly sweet smile, "Even more than we already are".

Lestrange spoke to her with a smirk on his face, "Well come to the edge of the Forbidden Forest tonight. Details will be given then."

The boys moved off and walked away from her.

"Cissy?" Bella heard a small voice whisper. Looking behind her, she saw Cissy and Dromeda peak their heads around the corner.

"What was that about?" Dromeda asked.

Bella walked up to them, "What did I say about being outside of the dorms?". D

romeda stepped back from her stare but this time she didn't stay quiet. "What was that boy talking about?"

"He was telling me about a rebellion against muggles and mudbloods." Bella smiled a little.

"But we aren't fighting with them," Cissy said innocently.

Bending down to Cissy's level, Bella spoke into her face, "Everyday they continue living Cissy there are fighting with us."

"Bella you know that's not true," Dromeda said with a frown, pulling Cissy close.

"Your eyes will be opened soon, Dromeda. Mine were opened years ago. Mom taught me the proper pureblood way. I guess you and Cissy's lessons were not so harsh. I should write to her."

Bella pushed past her sisters, but Dromeda grabbed her sleeve. "Don't go with them Bella. This doesn't seem right." Cissy looked up at her eldest sister with sad eyes.

"Oh Dromeda, this is the only thing that has felt right to me in a long time." She continued walking, forgetting their words, forgetting Dromeda's concerned frown and forgetting Cissy's tears that threatened to fall.

Bella forgot her orange crayon.

* * *

The boy in the hall turned out to be Rodulphus Lestrange. She saw him again at the meeting that night as he dragged her near to the front of the crowd. The leader of the revolution had decided not to show but she sent one of his subordinates, a man named Avery. He was very enthused man who used his smooth words to inspire all the students that had showed up to join immediately, Bellatrix included. After the meeting, Rodulphus walked her back to the Slytherin dorms with a promise of seeking her out again for the next meeting.

Her time at Hogwarts had ended and Bellatrix found out her betrothed was the same Rodolphus Lestrange. They had built a sort of amicable relationship during school and at the meetings, but that was not important. She held the pureblood beliefs and love was not a prerequisite for marriage.

They were married within two months after she graduated and she learned to love him. She was not overly affectionate, taught from a young age to be expressionless but they soon were with child.

Bella's abdomen swelled more and more everyday. She couldn't help but smile at the love she felt for the child in her. She was happy again, even making amends with Cissy, but not Dromeda. She had met a mudblood named Tonks. She was no longer her sister and Bella was not allowed to miss her.

During the last month of her pregnancy, something went wrong. Bella and her husband went to another meeting. They now knew their leader as the Dark Lord, who still kept his real name secret to his army. That night they were expected to go out with him to a muggle town, slowly wiping them off the earth one by one. Rodolphus had told her to stay home since she in condition to go out while so far along in her pregnancy. But Bella did not take it lightly. She was not fragile. Stubbornly, she went him on the mission.

They had gotten to the location and carried out the deed. The town was destroyed, the homes and buildings crumbled or on fire. All the muggles were killed until there was just one left, a little girl at her feet. The girl stared into Bella's eyes with her large empty blue ones. The girl had seen so much. Just as Bella was about to complete the mission, the walls of the house around her crumpled. There was a lot of destruction and Bella had been knocked out.

Bella awoke in her bed at home, Rodolphus holding her hand. She felt very sore and very dizzy but strangely light. She looked around him hand, her entwined fingers and then down at her body. Her stomach looked deflated.

Panicking she sat up, moving the sheets around her, and looked into Rodulphus' eyes but he didn't have to say anything. "Roddy..."

A crayon that was wrapped in the sheets slipped off and rolled quietly under the bed.

Bella lost her purple crayon.

* * *

Working under the Dark Lord allowed Bellatrix to let out her frustration in the best way possible. After the maelstrom her life had been, she put all her pain into doing his will. Her Reductos sent persons flying back by a few metres, sometimes ending with a hard crack as they hit something hard. Her Stupefys put enemies out for months, not that they would live that long.

Under his tutelage, she learnt many spells, increasingly darker and more powerful, but her specialty was the Cruciatus Curse. She would have her victims screaming until their throats bled in just a few seconds. Her current record was 0.51 seconds. She wanted her victims to feel as broken as she did.

The Dark Lord had noticed her excellent performance and her usefulness. She elevated through the ranks, soon becoming his most trusted servant. No one believed in or fought for the cause like she did. He had lured her close to him, pulling away from her husband, her family and herself. He took her along with him on his most important missions, knowing she would always get the job done.

The number of persons she had killed was incredible. The amount of light that issued from her wand was uncontainable, colouring each person at the other end in a pool of sickly shining green. Bella had done it all as the Dark Lord asked.

Bella used up her green crayon.

* * *

_A small girl is propped up on her knees on the deep brown floor of her home. Her wild hair is unrestrained, hanging over her face and almost obscuring her vision. She stares at the paper below her. What will she draw today? _

_Her eyes light up when she finally gets an idea and she reaches for her crayon box. She has lost all her crayons except one. Now it's obvious. It was always her against them, black versus white and Her life had always been Black._

_Bella grabs her black crayon._


End file.
